Engagement announcement etiquette is ignored FAR too often. I myself have been on the receiving end of some announcements delivered in bad form. It’s not a nice feeling. Despite what the world has evolved into, simple manners DO still count. Don’t you forget it.
Here are a few engagement announcement etiquette tips you should definitely follow.
1. Save the social networking!
Leave the Twitter and Facebook announcements for acquaintances and distant relatives. Close friends and family should always, always, ALWAYS be phoned before the announcement goes public. This includes parents (obviously), siblings, in-laws, close friends and people you talk to you on a semi-regularly basis.
I was notified by Facebook of a close friend’s surprising engagement at the same time as everyone else and, I have to say, it stung badly. Not only that, but it made me question how close we actually are. Take some time to deliver the exciting news yourself! Besides, it’s a fun few phone calls!
2. Share the announcement love!
If a family member wants to announce your engagement via the newspaper, let them (unless you have a special newspaper announcement planned yourself). For some parents, the newspaper announcement is a tradition that has been done for generations.
Even if you think it’s outdated, let them do it for you. It’s a very sweet gesture. This can still be followed by your own engagement cards. One doesn’t preclude the other.
3. Be sensitive with your announcement.
In today’s day and age, blended families make for a myriad of family ties and complications. If this is your second marriage, you don’t need a newspaper ad, engagement cards and a big deal on Facebook.
Take it slow and take other people’s feelings into consideration. This includes any children that may be involved…and yes, ex-wives as well. Handle it with tact.
The engagement is just the beginning. Don’t make things uncomfortable from the get-go. Be the bigger person. This leads directly into suggestion number four.
4. Show some empathy.
If you know that a particular person is going to take the news hard (say an ex-spouse), please tell that person face-to-face before they hear it through the grapevine. This is just basic engagement announcement etiquette.
I don’t care what past issues you’ve had. Common courtesy is not dead. Have the discussion even if it’s a very short one. This is especially important if the announcement is coming out of left field.
5. Don’t start inviting excited people!
Yes, you’re on a high…they’re elated…but are they coming to the wedding? It’s way too soon to tell!
It’s extremely rude, but many people ask if they’re invited to the wedding when an engagement is announced. Simply say something along the lines of not being sure if you’re having a traditional wedding, eloping or what! Slough it off and go into the proposal story instead. Deflect! Deflect! Deflect!