There are definitely a lot of questions to ask before marriage. Finding out all you can about your partner will help you make an informed decision.
Maybe you’re think this sounds like a lot of work. Maybe you’re thinking that you don’t want to bother your partner with these questions. If either of these statements applies to you, reconsider marriage! You aren’t ready.
The key point in discussing these questions is to figure out where each partner stands on the issue. You don’t want to be married for five years and THEN discover that your spouse never intended to have kids when that’s been your life’s dream!
It sounds improbable, but it definitely has happened. Analyze where you stand now and it will help you build a stronger and more stable marriage.
Here are twenty questions to get you started…
1. Do you want to have children? If so, when and how many?
2. How will we discipline our children?
3. Who will take maternity leave? Will one parent be a stay-at-home parent?
4. How will we handle the division of labour within our household?
5. What do you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
6. What are your pet peeves?
7. What are your greatest hopes and dreams?
8. What is your religion?
9. How important is said religion when it comes to children?
10. What is your financial position? Do you have any debt?
11. How will we handle our finances?
12. What are our financial goals together?
13. How involved in our lives do we want in-laws to be?
14. How important is family to you? How much family time do you want?
15. What are your personal boundaries?
16. How will we handle friendships with members of the opposite sex?
17. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
18. How will we safeguard our marriage from infidelity?
19. How important is sex to you?
20. How do you express love? How do you want love expressed to you?
While there are hundreds of other questions you may want to ask, you’ll soon find that it’s exhausting work being this reflective! My suggestion is to have a weekly date night where you discuss two or three questions at a time. Make it fun!
The point isn’t just to be able say to say that you’ve crossed this off your list. The idea is to actually get to know your partner better!
If you’re really gung-ho and twenty questions just isn’t enough…why not check out this page of 276 questions to ask before marriage! You’ll need more than just a few date nights to tackle these!