The Worst Marriage Proposals
(Prepare to Fail)

The worst marriage proposals usually start off with the best of intentions. I say usually because there are a few idiots out there that just don’t care. Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull off something doomed from the get-go.

Note: everything listed in the "worst" category could be your best possible proposal. But these are all ideas that, in usual scenarios, have a pretty big chance of going horribly wrong!

No Ring

Sure, this can be romantic (and it might even belong in the "best" category if done right). But there are many potential pitfalls to proposing in the heat of the moment without something to give your girl. At the very least a trip to the jewelry store may need to be your very next stop after proposing.

In my experience, the worst marriage proposals end without a ring. That being said, if you actually cannot afford a ring (and your girlfriend knows this), at least give her a handmade ring as a gesture.

Popping the... Statement

It may seem like common sense, but if you want someone to spend the rest of their lives with you, you should ASK them. Simply saying something like "I can't imagine spending my life without you" is sweet, but doesn't exactly lend itself to a yes or no; it should always be followed by something they can answer back!

Hiding it in (Messy) Food

Beyond all the potential pitfalls involved with accidentally-swallowed jewelry, no one wants to wear a ring covered in goopy chocolate sauce. There's a reason this is a staple of sitcom proposals-gone-wrong, and you would be wise to take that into consideration!

At a Movie

Maybe you two are big cinema buffs and movies hold a special place in your relationship. But a theater isn't the place to do it. There are lots of public venues well suited to a proposal, but a room full of people just trying to watch a movie (that can't be stopped while you two take center stage) isn't the place.

(Too Early) In the Morning

Sure, it would be a very romantic gesture to have your girl wake up to a ring under her pillow. But very few people feel their best before a shower and a cup of coffee. Assuming those two things have been taken care of, though, a ring might make an interesting addition to a breakfast in bed.

At her Office

The last thing you want to do is surprise her at a place many associate with stress and dissatisfaction. It's nice to make a romantic gesture in front of her co-workers, but do yourself a favor and save that for sending her a huge bouquet instead. It’s also one of the worst marriage proposals because she’ll have the entire office expecting a wedding invite!

In the Bedroom

Yes, it’s likely that you rarely have moments as intimate as those in the bedroom. However, sometimes people say things in "the heat of the moment" they wouldn't otherwise mean to say. Don't risk her getting the wrong idea! Make sure she knows you’ve thought this through.

While Drunk

The traditional proposal dinner might involve a bottle of champagne and some merriment, but be sure to take it easy. You want to go on bended knee because you love her, not because you're having trouble keeping your balance, and you want to be able to remember that very special night!On a side note, you should also not ask for her father’s permission to marry her when drunk. This is something my husband seemed to overlook ;) He made up for it by NOT using one of the worst marriage proposals listed here to pop the question (see our proposal on this page)

The Fakeout

Yes, your girl may have a good sense of humor about the fact that she thought you were going to propose but just wound up tying your shoe, or that inside that fancy ring box is actually a pair of earrings. But if you are going to lead her along, make sure that an actual proposal follows pretty quickly. I can pretty much guarantee that this is one of the worst marriage proposals gone awry I can think of – and it’s kind of cruel.

CLICHES

Even if someone else has a brilliant marriage idea, if you copy it you'll have to live knowing that it wasn't really your own proposal. Avoid a cliché proposal by reflecting on what matters most to the two of you, and what exactly it is that made you fall in love, and find a way-- your own way-- to work it in to your proposal.

As a Joke

A variation of #9. If you're thinking about it- really? You really are?No. Just no. Don't do it, and you shouldn't have to ask why. It's awful to play with anyone in this way, especially for such an important moment as this. Top of the list for worst marriage proposals EVER!

In an Elaborate Puzzle

No one wants to see their ring locked away behind one of those infuriating puzzles. If you're going to use this, make it simple and easy so they can finish it quickly, or keep giving them hints to move the puzzle along. Don't frustrate your loved one by making them sit in front of a nigh-unsolvable monstrosity for hours!

While She's Stressed

While your proposal might seem to be the thing that would take her mind off of everything and make her happy- it's not. She wants her proposal to be a perfect moment framed by happiness and serenity, not a light ending to an awful day or activity. Save it for the right time!

Kidnapping Her

It may seem romantic to whisk your girlfriend away without her knowledge to a restaurant where you'll propose to her, but don't. She might think mobster rather than marriage, and those prison floors are awfully hard to consider going down on bended knee there!

Over the Phone

Nothing says "I love you" like being proposed at over a tinny cell phone speaker (Hint: I'm kidding). This is really one of those moments that you want to be there for- you both want to see and feel each other in the moment, not hear each other from far away (and don't even think about a voicemail!) No, no, no phone proposals!

Via Text

One of the worst marriage proposals in the world could only be via text. Texts are great for many things - proposing is not one of them. "will u marry me???" might be the perfect proposal for an episode of Jersey Shore, but more likely than not your girl will be fuming rather than elated at your virtual faux-pas!

On Her Facebook Wall or Twitter

Social networking is a recent phenomenon, and many people seem to have problems figuring out what to keep private and what to keep public. While Facebook can be used creatively (see above) Changing your relationship status to "married" and posting "Will you marry me?" on someone's wall is the lowest of the low (or maybe tweeting it - take your pick). You want to do this face-to-face, and she won't be too happy if she finds out you proposed via news feed!

Via Snail Mail

A variation on the phone bit, but this one also deserves to be said. While this may have been acceptable years ago during the Civil War (if it even was then), getting a Hallmark card with a ring and a proposal inside nowadays will be an absolute letdown, especially considering how cheap some flights can be. Your proposal is worth it- always wait to propose in person!

Are We Done? I Have a Six o'clock

Nobody wants to rush into marriage, it's true, but don't have a sit-down meeting with your bride-to-be and discuss how, where, and when she wants her proposal to happen. It's ok to sit down and decide you're ready to marry, but at least make the proposal itself exciting, romantic, and surprising (unless you're dating Mr. Spock, I guess).

I Guess We Have To

Nobody wants to hear this! Don't just buy a ring and tell her “Well, we've been together about the right time, so let's get married”. Nobody wants to hear that marrying them is a chore, or a simple duty to be performed. They want the marriage to be born out of an intense love and commitment! This is one of the worst marriage proposals and deserves a huge NO!